Here it is. In life you generally get what you think what you deserve, not so much what you want. The difference is subtle but it’s there. It reflects your self-image. You can want something desperately but if deep down you believe you somehow might be unworthy or not capable than you are setting yourself up to fail.
I know you want that promotion but that is never going to happen if you still somehow doubt your own abilities or competence. I know you want to be in a loving relationship but that is never going to happen if for whatever reason you think that is not something you deserve.
Some people will fight me one this. If you want something negotiate for it or demand it. Ok sure. Demand that promotion. How successful do you think you’ll be if you’re not sure you’re ready or fit for a new job? Negotiate that relationship. How healthy and equal will it be if you’re not sure you deserve amazing love?
Putting yourself above nature and nurture
I’m not saying you have low self-esteem. I’m quite sure you know you are a decent human being. Chances are you are pretty confident about yourself. Still, many of us grew up with a certain programming. Work hard. Happiness is not for everyone. Putting yourself first is selfish. Good plans go bad very easily. And so on. Basically we are constantly reminded that we aren’t worthy of great things. And on top of that our brain is simply wired to constantly scan for possible threats and we remember the prickly parts of life better than the sunshine parts. So your brain is setting you up to settle and miss out. Thanks hard-wiring. Thanks brain.
Believe in moving forward
So today we will start rewiring. Start here. Let go of past memories. They are not truths. Let go of future expectations. They are not set in stone. Believe you deserve a great life. I’m not saying that believing in yourself will automatically make magical things happen. But I’m saying that if you are not at peace with yourself and not in control of your own thoughts awesome chances will keep slipping through your fingers.
Want to know more about rewiring your life?
Below are some good starting points to start reading. The science behind rewiring your brain, the psychology of thinking good things for yourself and everything in between. Enjoy! And let me know what you think.
“Several breakthrough studies suggest that we may have more control over how our brains function and develop throughout adulthood—our thoughts, behaviors, and emotions—than previously assumed. .. In other words, shape your brain and you can shape your life.” http://bigthink.com/experts-corner/how-to-rewire-your-brain-for-success
“.. Fundamentals Of Neuroplasticity. Science has confirmed that you can access neuroplasticity for positive change in your life in many ways..” https://www.huffingtonpost.com/debbie-hampton/the-10-fundamentals-of-re_b_9625926.html
“..that ingrained bad technique will make it more difficult to learn new good technique because it will be ingrained into your muscle memory. Conversely though, if you practice good technique, that is what you will ingrain and that is what will come out in competition. The same holds true for confidence. If you practice being negative, worried, and discouraging, then you will become skilled at the negativity and that pessimistic mindset will emerge..” https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-power-prime/201011/business-confidence-matters-in-the-corporate-world
“1. You need to do the things that scare the hell out of you 2. You deserve more than you think you do 3. Settling won’t fulfill you in the long run 4. Your time is better spend working for things than wishing for them 5. If something in your life doesn’t make you happy, then chuck it 6. Low standards leave you stagnant 7. You have more strength than you even realize 8. It’s not selfish to go after what you want 9. It’s not selfish to focus on yourself, either” https://www.bolde.com/life-love-get-think-deserve-aim-high/